How I Crafted an Action-Packed Crime Thriller Set in Cape Town

 Where do fiction stories come from?

This is a question I often saw in conversations on the Internet, and one I viewed with a frown. Perhaps that was a lack of understanding on my part.

Fiction is just that: a story thought up by the author’s mind. Sucked from the thumb, so to speak.

I recently had a conversation with my doctor, who asked me that same question. She wanted to know if I could visualize the story in my head.

I replied, “Yes.”

She was fascinated by this, and so was I, because I thought everyone could do that. But alas, I was wrong.

Some writers need to give it more thought than others, but essentially, this partly answers the question of what you should write. Authors write from their experiences, influences, interests, fears, frustrations, and hopes.

For me, there is an overflow on every front. I have dreamed up enough titles to last me a lifetime.

So, how was my action crime thriller, The Serpent’s Fall, born?

The Movies That Lit the Fuse

One Sunday, which is my rest day, I revisited a few old movies I enjoyed. We do not all have the same taste, but I quite enjoyed Under Siege and The Equalizer for the thrill I get from them.

To my delight, I still enjoyed them.

Then I wondered why.

A few things came to mind.

I liked the fact that Steven Seagal’s character in Under Siege was a mere cook on the surface, but much more in reality. The authentic radio chatter — or what I thought was authentic — appealed to me. The insight into the operation of the cannon and the fighting scenes stood out.

The Equalizer had a similar, yet darker tone: an unassuming man you could easily underestimate.

Why Cape Town Became my Canvas

I was born and raised in Cape Town, so I wanted to draw from my experience of the country and from the current situation where crime often seems to pay. Coupled with that was my desire to see someone with the guts to stand up against it.

And so, Jack Dunning was born.

Now, all white males my age in South Africa are ex-military, as military service was compulsory for all eighteen-year-old white males. Therefore, it is no surprise that Jack is also ex-military.

The Diner Cook with Nothing Left to Lose

Moving to frustrations in my part of the world, Jack lost everything he cared for because of crime. He has nothing left to live for and ends up as a diner cook in a bad part of town. Tucked away in a back room, working for a meal a day and a roof over his head, Jack is simply waiting for death to release him from this world.

Then she runs through the diner door.

Trouble follows on her heels.

Jack is pulled into the very violence he has hidden from since that tragic day. But this also gives him purpose again. It could mean redemption, because he feels responsible for not being able to save his own family. He believes he should have been able to save them.

Just like that, I had my story.

The process was simple: elements I enjoy, real experience from my corner of the world, a measure of hope, and the wishful thinking of brave men standing up to injustice.

I could now start writing the story.

But I did not.

Building the Ending from the Beginning

First, I thought about how I wanted the story to end.

For this, I looked at the beginning of my story: Jack’s loss, his guilt, and the emotional wound he carried. Then I asked what kind of ending would give those opening events an epic resolution through the new person who walked into his life.

Voila.

I had the ending, and it did not take long at all.

Now I could start writing the opening.

Writing the Journey from Point A to Point Z

Any story begins at point A, and the protagonist has to get to point Z. But there are obstacles along the way. At the very least, there is a journey.

That is the difficult part to write.

Part of the excitement is that you do not always know what will happen during that journey. I am often just as curious to find out as the reader would be.

That may not work for everyone. Some writers need to flesh out the story in more detail before they begin. If needed, plan your story with cards on a corkboard or use an equivalent digital application.

For me, I usually write my opening and then stop to flesh out my characters. I jot down important details I may use later. From there, the story unfolds as I write.

In places where planning is key, I think about the events to follow and write them in a flowchart format. Just a sentence or two for what I want to see happening in the upcoming chapters, in a specific order.

The Basic Building Blocks of an Action Thriller

Combining all of these forms the basic building blocks of a good action thriller.

You need the drive.

You need discipline.

You need something tangible and relatable.

Draw from your experience. Find joy in your writing. Let the excitement of the storytelling process be the catalyst.

Build a character, even if only in your head at first. Picture his or her past life. What brought that character to where they are today?

Dedication and discipline will bring the story to life.

Now let’s talk about stumbling blocks that often materialize from bad advice.

Plot Matters Less

How important is the plot? Should you spend most of your time working on twists and the story idea?

The plot is important, but not the most important. In fact, there are highly successful books written with very thin plotlines.

Let me give you an example of why I believe plot is less important than many writers think.

Think of a movie or book you enjoyed a few years ago. See if you can recall the exact plot.

Most likely, you will not remember every detail of how the story went.

What do you remember?

You remember the characters that stood out. Things they did. Things they said. Moments they created.

There is not a plot in this world that has not been written about in one form or another. Each genre only has a few broad options.

There Are Only So Many Plots

In thrillers, the world may be in peril. These are your typical James Bond-style stories. The world needs saving from annihilation, and your protagonist is the one to do it. This could involve a nuclear device, a new invention, a natural disaster, aliens, or some other massive threat.

Something or someone may be lost. This can include theft in all forms, including identity theft. A person may be missing or kidnapped. A popular movie that capitalized on this ancient plotline is Taken, starring Liam Neeson.

Then there is murder. Who does not like a good old Sherlock Holmes-style whodunit? Murder mysteries often branch into crime and revenge stories.

Crime itself is broad. It can include petty theft, blackmail, drugs, trafficking, gangs, serial killers, and more.

Revenge also ties into many of the above. Usually, some injustice has been done, and someone decides to take justice into their own hands.

I am sure there are more I have not mentioned, but the point is this: plotlines are limited. They have been written about to death.

You will never write a completely unique plot.

Do not waste your time trying to invent one.

Characters Are the Heartbeat

Rather focus most of your energy on the more important aspect: characters.

Spend time building your characters. Take care when writing dialogue. Shape each individual personality.

Character actions and dialogue are the heartbeat of your story. It does not matter where in the world — or even in space — your character finds himself or herself. What matters is what action that character takes in a certain situation. How does the character resolve the problem at hand? What does the character say and do?

Their emotions are what draw the reader or viewer.

Show the Scene, Do Not Explain It to Death

Then comes one of the most common pieces of writing advice: show, do not tell.

You have heard it many times before, and it is true.

Stay away from unnecessary exposition. It can kill your story.

Some may think exposition only counts when you spill a bunch of information in a long paragraph. Not true. Yes, that may be the ugliest form of exposition, but it is not the only one.

Some writers hide exposition in dialogue, which may be acceptable in certain cases. But exposition also happens when you explain too much, describe emotions too directly, or rely on weak adverbs instead of stronger actions.

Words like softly, quickly, beautifully, exceptionally, greatly, and eagerly can often weaken a sentence rather than sharpen it.

Another form of exposition is telling the reader exactly how a character feels.

For example: “She said with a sad expression on her face.”

Rather show the action. Let the reader experience what she feels.

The page is your canvas. Your tools are words: grammar, vocabulary, rhythm, and structure. Sharpen them. Learn how to paint with them. Draw the reader into the scene. Help them see what you see and experience what you need them to experience.

Pacing and Tension: The Heart of the Action Thriller

Now we come to the heart of the action thriller: pacing and tension.

Action often works best with short, precise, vivid sentences. Atmosphere and emotional scenes can use longer, more descriptive sentences.

Let me give you a quick example.

Bad version:

“He spun around and squeezed the trigger of his Magnum .45. A muzzle flash followed by a speeding bullet that hit the thug square in the face. He dropped to the floor with a grunt, blood oozing from a gaping wound in his skull.”

Better version:

“He spun around. Fired. The thug dropped to the pavement — blood seeping from a hole in his skull.”

You can also emphasize the shot:

“He spun around.

Bang!

The thug dropped to the pavement — blood seeping from a hole in his skull.”

It is not a perfect example, but it shows the difference. You trim the filler to increase the pace.

Quiet Moments Make the Action Hit Harder

Pacing across the whole book is created by switching between quiet moments and nail-biting action or tension scenes. The correct spacing of contrasts is important. If you have action all the time, it removes reader interest. The same is true for long stretches of quiet moments.

Too much drama is also not ideal for an action thriller.

To build tension and anticipation, return to the “less is more” rule. This means less explaining. Your reader is not always as clueless as you may think. Sometimes a hint is all it takes. Let them ask questions. Let them ponder certain actions.

When to break from action into quieter moments is mostly a natural feeling for me. I just know in my heart when to break the action, when to create atmosphere, when to slow down for emotional scenes, and when to use the quiet-before-the-storm moments.

I am not sure if it works like that for all authors, but I trust it does for many.

Realism Makes Fiction Hit Harder

Research is also very important, and with the power of the Internet, it is much easier than before. I once downloaded a specific rifle manual to study the parts, locate the firing pin, and learn how to field strip it.

Not because I wanted to explain the entire procedure to the reader.

That would be boring.

I did it to know what was plausible. If my character needed to field strip the rifle, I wanted him to do it properly.

It is fiction, yes, but fiction with baked-in realism is superior to something that merely looks cool.

Violence Must Have a Reason

Then there is violence.

There must be a reason for it.

Here is the honest truth: I have brutal violence in my book for the sole reason that it is based on truth. In older films, people often dropped “dead” with no evident injury, which, in my opinion, detaches you from reality.

In real life, when you hear about a bombing in a restaurant, some people may die, and others may survive with devastating injuries. They may lose limbs, their sight, or their future as they knew it.

It is easy to say, “Shame,” without truly understanding the horror that person went through or the trauma of reliving that day through their loss.

I do not use graphic violence to shock people or to revel in it. I do not want to linger on gore. I simply want the reader to understand the impact, pain, and consequences of violence.

Violence should never be there because it is cool. A shootout should never exist only for the sake of action.

Real consequences and real reasons hit much harder.

How The Serpent’s Fall Came to Life

That is how The Serpent’s Fall came to life: one part passion, one part Cape Town reality, one part character wound, one part action, and a whole lot of discipline.

To get you in the mood, why not grab a copy of The Serpent’s Fall today?

See the details below.

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A gritty South African crime thriller about survival, sacrifice, and one man standing between a violent gang and the people they want to destroy.

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